Here's to 2015

I'm back...what a whirlwind it has been. A beautiful one, but a whirlwind none the less. I'm slowly coming up from under the rock of mommy hood I've been living in for the past three months. If someone was to describe to me how it was going to be as a Mommy you probably couldn't have put it into words. Don't get me wrong, people definitely tried but they didn't come anywhere close. I felt prepared for this journey in so many ways and so unprepared in so many other ways. My google feed is a ridiculous mess of questions involving everything from how often should my child be sleeping during the day (this one I think I've googled multiple multiple times with no concrete answer, or maybe there is a concrete answer but my little girl doesn't seem to fall into any of the norms) to poop colors, rashes, flat heads, pacifiers, SIDS, co-sleeping, sleeping in a crib, storing human milk, vaccines, cry it out, soothe to sleep, to basically any question I can think of that might be something to worry about. I worry a lot more now. I mean I worried before, especially after I met my husband, because now I had another person in my life I needed to keep safe...and now times that again by a little sweet being and the worry chart goes a bit crazy. But despite it all, even the days that I don't make it to the shower or I leave the house by mistake in my slippers (true story) or the days I can't even get through one paragraph on the blog to talk about it...I'm feel so lucky. Here's to 2015 and all the magic that it has in store. 

Letters to Emmalyn

Dear Emma,

You're finally here and you're absolutely perfect. You have the sweetest demeanor and I fall more in love with you with each minute that I look at you.

Angels have kissed your eyes and you love holding your hands close to your face, cupped in the calmest way. You have your Daddy's hands and feet and my lips. Your hair is light brown with hints of red and you have these deep blue eyes that I get lost in. You love sucking on your hands, you love to softly stroke the side of me when I feed you and you love the sound of Daddy singing to you and his guitar playing. I'm so in love with you and I couldn't be more in love with your Daddy, I want to wrap you both up in my arms and keep it like this forever and ever (well maybe with a little more sleep involved.) But life doesn't get much sweeter or perfect then this.

Your labor and delivery was longer then we all expected (28 hours!) Daddy had guessed the closest to when you were going to be born but even he was 3 hours off, you took your time, all the while we listened to hawaiian music and friends came to visit. You and I had people surrounding us the entire time and it was a wonderful feeling to know how loved you were already. Your grandparents slept in chairs in the waiting room for hours, our good friends Kevin and Diana came by and Mommy even had time to eat a popsicle. When it finally came time to give you a push out your grandmas and Daddy were in the delivery room and I was over the moon with excitement that I was finally going to meet you. Finally going to see those feet and toes that had kicked me in the side for so long, finally going to meet your sweet face, finally get to know you and finally get to hold you in my arms and love you. I will never forget the moment you came out (a mere 20 minutes of pushing bliss) and they placed you on my chest. I cried. You were and always will be perfect in my eyes. You are the perfect little miracle that your Dad and I waited so long to have. I can't believe you are finally here and you are ours. Love you baby girl.

Love, Mommy